What I’ve Learned About “My Will” versus “God’s Will” (for my life)
Have you ever heard the expression, If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans? Well, I saw that play out in real time over the past few weeks and, quite honestly, I was not prepared. I’m still not prepared, but I trust God and I know that He will give me exactly what I need, precisely when I need it—particularly when it comes to serving His kingdom.
I recently launched a new business. And with that came a plethora of content ideas that I had not only planned, but filmed, edited, and scheduled for posting on multiple social platforms. And in the midst of it all, God said, “Nope”. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways”, declares the Lord. For me, this has never been more evident than it is at this very moment. Having both experienced and encountered multiple women who’d navigated the muddled waters of workplace trauma, I’d started sharing content on workplace toxicity. And just as I was getting what I’d considered to be my groove, the Lord instructed me to stop. Where He was taking me did, in fact, involve trauma; but not the kind that was associated with negative work environments. This type of trauma impacted numerous women and often began during the most formative years of one’s life: childhood. And it frequently leaves the unseen scars of unhealed wounds in its path.
Having survived decades of trauma that started around four or five years of age, this new direction was one that I was intimately familiar with. And I was completely on board with sharing (parts of) my journey, if it meant that someone else could potentially be encouraged in the process. But God is not interested in our terms and conditions, He wants our obedience. Our unconditional “yes”. And that is exactly what I gave Him. An unrestricted yes to His will—to serve as a willing vessel for His kingdom. And all was well until it was time to put pen to paper… Or dare I say: voice to camera. There’s nothing quite like sitting at the feet of Jesus and thanking Him for your healing. But having to relive the trauma—to actually speak the words for any and everyone to hear and memorialize—is something completely different. But “yes” to His will, sometimes means “no” to my own. And with all that He’s done for me, I’m perfectly okay with that.
This was, by no means, an easy thing for me to do. Nor was it comfortable—far from, in fact. But it was necessary. The number of women who personally reached out to me with gratitude was completely unexpected. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure what I expected, but I definitely didn’t expect that. They advised they’d also experienced the trauma of childhood abuse—some healed, some working on it, some still struggling. I encouraged them as they encouraged me. But one thing’s for sure: childhood trauma (in adults) is real. And it deserves a platform dedicated to healing the wounds of old—though, at times, I’m certain they still feel quite new. Every woman who was abused as a child deserves a community of faith-filled women who are both praying with and standing beside her. Women who truly understand and are committed to providing a safe, judgement-free environment where we can heal and grow in Christ together. And, by God’s grace, that is exactly the space that I intend to provide. Because although I don’t quite feel prepared, I trust God. And I know that He will:
“equip [me] with everything good that [I] may do His will…” (Hebrews 13:21). For “He who calls you is faithful; [and] He will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24).
God bless you.
Veronica